As a single mother/parent what are the sacrifices you make to be as close to a full time parent? I say close because we all have to work and work at times take away from our parenting.
Before having Javan I had all these plans. Getting my masters in fashion merchandising, getting certified in my side hustles, traveling abroad and more. Now I’m not saying I couldn’t do it but I had to prioritize my lifestyle. Once your child is born, most likely you will start thinking about things to do to better their future. Everything you may have thought of as far as living your best life, had to either be put on pause or in slow motion. I recently looked into getting my masters online and thought about the hours and dedication it would take for me to complete it successfully. So here is an example of my weekly schedule. Work my 9-5, by the time I would get off, it’s time to pick up the kid from football practice. After that, depending on my bookings; the rest of the evenings are working my side hustles. Momma still have to work to survive in these Miami streets lol. My weekends are working the entrepreneurial life with a little in between social life, football and mom and son time. Depending on what day, there is a football or baseball game to show up and support my son. I have even become team mom in his little league career. So after thinking about what I need to do to financially survive and make sure my child don’t have to want or need for nothing, I just can’t put that extra work in for school or anything else “at the moment”.
So I kind of flipped the script on the sacrifices. I may can’t do what I want to do for myself but I sure can incorporate my lifestyle with my son’s and make it beneficial for the both of us. If I go on vacations, a few of those vacations he has to go with me in that year. My social life, he’s included. Part of what I love to do is write, so we both became published authors. Now I work hard to make sure he becomes successful, so when he do; that way I can focus on myself full time in the future.
Mothers would work multiple jobs, come home cook and clean, be doctors and teachers to their kids and rarely make time for themselves. When that child is in the womb, there is a love that no other can replace. We start to think about the child’s future neglecting our own. I’m not saying this is bad but this is what we do, it’s more than just being responsible. Every sacrifice I’ve made, I wouldn’t change it for the world. Becoming a parent is a big responsibility and this is why it is said to wait on having kids.
My mom was a model and I can bet she would have been traveling the world, in magazines and on TV but then she had me. She sacrificed her modeling career to raise two girls and take care of home as a wife. There are things we CAN do and there are things we absolutely CAN’T! I believe there is a time for everything. God don’t put more on us than we can bare, we just have to make the most out of life with our kids.
Think about it, what are some of the things you could have done before having a child? In my case, I’m raising a child that battles a life threatening illness and other mental neurodevelopmental disorders. I have to give my son all of me if not more. Not saying I don’t have the help but that one on one parent to child care is pertinent. We can’t get too busy with life and not give our children the best of us. At the end of the day, everyone’s parenting lifestyle is different. You make it work for you!
So to be as close to a full time parent I stayed in my career working in education. As long as my son is in school I pretty much get the same days off as him and is able to parent as if I were a stay at home mom. Those two weeks off for Christmas, one week for spring break, holidays off along with the vacation and personal time is ideal for moms like me. Plenty of times I had the opportunity to leave education and work in another fields. When I thought about the time I won’t be giving my child, I chose to stay. I used to be in the hospitality industry. This industry working at hotels and resorts is a 24 hour opened business. I worked my way up to become a supervisor and at times Manager on duty and it wasn’t good at all as a mom. I was missing my son due to the shift changes and I was missing special moments in his life. My son at the age of 4 and 5 for a little while became defiant towards me and actually told me he hated me. When I got out that industry, it was the best decision I’ve ever made. Now all I hear is “I love you mommy”. I put my full focus on him and figured life out to work and still be able to full time parent. I believe the next best thing to becoming that same parent is being a entrepreneur. You get to make your own schedule. The only part to that is that sacrifice. There will be times you have to sacrifice not being with your child to build your business. Can you relate to sacrificing to be the best parent you can be? What are some of your sacrifices and how did you make it work for you and your household?